


Want

by AgentStannerShipper



Series: tumblr ficlets [42]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Asexual!Merlin, Asexuality, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 00:54:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17457536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentStannerShipper/pseuds/AgentStannerShipper
Summary: Merlin is asexual. Harry's reaction is better than Merlin expected.





	Want

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompts: "We'll figure this out" and "Is this okay?"

Merlin winces at the incoming call signal from Harry, because it is Harry. He’s not on the clock right now, which means he’s not Galahad, which means this is a personal call and Merlin doesn’t want to deal with personal calls right now because that means talking to Harry about this and that is the last thing he wants to do.

He lets the call ring through once, then a second time when Harry doesn’t get the message. A message pops up in his feed.

_You can’t ignore me forever._

He groans in frustration and answers when the third call comes through, “Yes, I bloody well can.”

“Hamish.”

Jesus, if Harry is pulling the ‘I’m the only one who knows your actual first name’ card then he really means business. Merlin rubs his forehead, pushing his glasses back up his nose when they slide down. “I don’t want to talk about it, Harry.”

“Hamish, we’ve been best friends for, what, five years? Six?”

“Something like that.”

“So forgive me if I’m a little concerned about the state of our friendship.” Harry sighs, “I asked you out.”

“You did.”

“You said no.”

“I did.”

“And then you just fucking walked away from me. No explanation-“

“I wasn’t aware I owed you an explanation,” Merlin snaps.

“-no reassurance that we could still be friends or even a ‘fuck off, I never want to speak to you again.’ Nothing.”

“Harry,” Merlin says. He wonders if he sounds as tired as he feels. “I am not going to date you. I would still like to be friends because you’re my best friend and I care about you very much. Is that sufficient?”

He can hear Harry’s ‘no’ in the silence between them, but what he actually says is, “Yes. Thank you.” Then the call cuts out.

***

Harry doesn’t bring it up again until a month later, when Merlin is on his living room floor getting jumped on by Mr. Pickle, idly playing tug-of-war with the scrappy dog. Harry’s on the sofa, there’s some sci-fi shit (Merlin’s pick) that neither of them is really paying attention to on the telly, and Harry just leans over and asks, “Is it because of work?”

Merlin frowns up at him, “Is what because of work?”

“Why you won’t go out with me.”

Merlin groans, “I thought we were over that.”

“You never gave me a reason,” Harry says. “Not even that you just weren’t interested in me. We’ve been friends for a while, Merlin, I think you could at least give me a why.”

Merlin knows that Harry isn’t going to let this go. Sooner or later, he’s going to get the truth. Merlin lets Mr. Pickle have the toy, and the dog bounces over to his bed and sits on his prize, guarding it fiercely. Merlin doesn’t look at Harry, and addresses Patrick Stewart on the screen, “It’s not that I’m…not interested. It’s that I’m not interested enough.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Sex, Harry,” Merlin looks up at him, and the eye contact abruptly feels like too much, but neither of them looks away. “I don’t want to have sex with you. And no matter how I feel about you, no matter how much I would really like to be with you, that’s not going to change. And that’s why I can’t date you.”

“I…don’t think I understand,” Harry says slowly. It’s clear to both of them that they’re treading unfamiliar waters. “You like me.”

“Yes.”

“And you would be interested in seeing me romantically?”

“Yes.”

“But you don’t want to have sex with me?”

“That about sums it up,” Merlin nods. He turns away and addresses Patrick again. “In case you were wondering, it’s not about you. I’ve never been interested in anyone that way. Fell in love once or twice, but never in lust. Not really my thing, I guess. I don’t know, maybe I’m just wired wrong.”

“Don’t say that,” Harry climbs off the sofa to be on Merlin’s level, sitting between him and the television so Merlin has to look at him. “Don’t say you’re wrong, because you aren’t.”

“A lot of people beg to differ.”

“And I’m not one of them,” Harry says firmly. “There are plenty of people who would call me wrong because I fell in love with a man. But that doesn’t mean they’re right.”

In lieu of Patrick as an option, Merlin talks to his knees, “It doesn’t matter either way. You can’t tell me you’d willingly enter a relationship knowing that sex was never going to happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because no one in their right mind would do that!” Merlin huffs. “Sooner or later you’d hate me for not wanting it, and it wouldn’t matter how much we love each other.”

“You love me?” Harry’s voice is small, bordering on shocked. Merlin looks up at him.

“Of course,” he says. “How could I not?”

Harry shyly reaches for his hand, and Merlin takes it. He leans in, and then hesitates, “Is this okay?”

Merlin’s breath catches in his throat. “It’s okay,” he says. “Kissing…kissing’s okay.”

Harry smiles and draws Merlin in for a chaste kiss. Merlin grips his hand, and Harry smiles as he pulls away, “Alright?”

“Harry…”

“I’m going to ask you again, Hamish,” Harry says, “and I’d like you to keep in mind that I love you very much, I understand what you’ve told me, and I’m not about to get upset about it or make you do anything you’re not comfortable with. So, bearing that in mind, would you like to go out with me sometime?”

“Yes,” Merlin says, against his better judgement. “Yes, I really would.” He pulls Harry back and kisses him again, because right now he can and he doesn’t know how many kisses he has left. When they break apart, he asks, “What happens when you start to hate me? When you start to insist that I’ll change my mind, or that if I really loved you I’d just grin and bear it for your sake?”

“I can’t imagine ever hating you,” Harry says. “Nor can I imagine ever asking you to hurt yourself, and I really think that’s what asking that of you would be, for my sake. I’m not saying it’ll be an easy relationship, but what relationship is easy? We’ll figure this out. I’m willing to try if you are.”

“I am,” Merlin says. He claims one more kiss. Might as well enjoy them while they last.


End file.
